I submit the following for most bizarre St. Paddy’s Day ever. And that includes the one where Alex got yelled at by Chet and I lost my pants:

Irish bar in Madrid, surrounded by Spaniards, accompanied by a fellow American, a Brit and two Germans (none of whom could grasp what the hell was so important about the day) watching the locals scream out the lyrics to mid-20th-century American rock songs (think Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis) as covered by an Irish guitarist whilst the German cohort drunkenly convinces a Spanish kid to help him do his homework in the bar.

You espeaka Espanish? How you say ‘los’?

Ain’t no Finnegan party.

It does, however, combine numbers #89 and #72 on the list. (We are SO white.)

Oh, and then came the drunken “let’s compare cultures!” game that, apparently everyone plays. The German wanted to know more American swear words, and after listing off an impressive tirade of offensive language, all we had left to give him was “cocksucker”, which truly threw him for a loop. “Vat iss kock?!?” It didn’t take long to explain. And we learned it in German, but I forgot to write it down.

-bdmc