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Brackpeet, or, How I’m Working on Getting Thrown Out of Spanish School

16 April 2008
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The other day our teacher gave us some homework (los deberes in the vernacular), which included writing a summary of our ideal day, so that we could practice our time words and reflexive verbs (good lord, I feel like such a child…”Let’s use our time words!”). Anyway, she was extrapolating on the explanation and said (in Spanish), “For example, for me, I get myself up, I have breakfast with Brackpeet, da da dadda dah…”

When she noticed the entire class giving her a quizzical look she restated the sentence, this time with more enthusiasm (and yeah, that whole “speak louder and they’ll get it” thing isn’t limited to obnoxious Americans). For further clarification she turned to me and said (again, this is all in Espanish), “Or for you, it could be Anheleena Holee…”

Me (in English): Oh. OHHHH. “Angelina Jolie”! Si, Si, Si, I get it now (in a chorus with the rest of the class).
Wait, that means you must have been talking about “Brad Pit”.
You mean “BRAAAD PIIIITT”?

Teacher: “Si. Brackpeet!”

Me: “No (gesturing with my hands to emphasize the two words), Brad. Pitt.”

Teacher (now in frustrated English): “Oh, ok, fine: ‘Braaaaaaaaad Piiiiitt'”, augmented with an arm pump and an ‘Oh yeaaaaah’ (both uttered in the most nasal Midwestern American accent possible—the kind that makes Al sound like a dulcet-toned angel), and a glare at me that said, “See! Look what you made me do! You made me sound like a dumbass in front of the whole class!” She then blushed, gathered her materials with overwrought theatrical gusto and humorously stormed out of the room.

It was hysterical.

So today, we’re reviewing the homework and I used the wrong verb to describe watching TV and she corrected me, to which I responded, “you watch TV how you like, and I’ll watch it how I like,” tongue planted firmly in cheek.

Much to the glee of my classmates, she subsequently refused to answer any of my questions for the rest of the class.

At the end of class as the students were packing up their things she was asking who would be leaving this week and after confirming with the two who were, she turned to me and asked, “This is your last week too, no???”

At least I got 5 weeks out of the program before they caught on…

-bdmc

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Countess of Cava permalink
    17 April 2008 7:01 pm

    Is this a true story?

  2. mme. hoolaha permalink
    18 April 2008 2:45 pm

    are you considering using her as a reference?

  3. Spirit of 73 permalink
    19 April 2008 10:05 am

    If you like the Brad Pitt pronunciation, ask her how the Spanish say Tom Cruise.

    It sounds to me like your teacher is getting a crush on you.

  4. Dan permalink
    21 April 2008 6:22 am

    MC,
    Always pushing the envelope, huh? I guess I would not expect anything different and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! Your mom and I so thoroughly enjoy reading your blog and how you and Al describe your experiences and observations.

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  1. Appreciating the Sh!t Out of Madrid: The Invasion of Iberia by Tall, White Americans, Vol. 4 « The World According to Conison

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