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Weekend(ish) Update 03: One Night In Bangkok, or Wat’s Up With the Ding-Dang Ping-Pong in Patpong?

9 February 2011
by

Greetings Dear Readers:
Some apologies are due.

First, please pardon—once again—the delay of “substantial” posts. We know you’ve been holding your collective breath waiting for meaningful updates as we tried to ply you with distractionary tidbits. We appreciate your patience and offer a variety of excuses as to the hold-up, so please, select your favorite:

.


Option 1: 

A Lack of Deadlines and the Over-Exuberance of Literary Gusto

Chucky D.

“If it pleases you to pay me by the word, I shall gladly write hastily and in exceptionally garrulous statements of copious abundance!”

Sometimes in our zeal to embellish our otherwise drab travels, we lose sight of the fact that our adoring public awaits, anxious to hang on our every word. It would help to have deadlines (or at least to get paid by the word in Dickensian fashion), as it might motivate us more thoroughly.

Option 2: 

Lunar New Year

Ravenous Good Luck Lions

The Good Luck Lions are made of people! Peeeooopple!

It was Lunar New Year last weekend, which meant everything descended into diversionary chaos as we were mauled by celebratory lion dancers and mobbed by grubby little kids scrambling to collect the plastic good luck coins tossed by these marauding would-be felines (more on this later).

Option 3: 

Dengue Fever

Dengue Dude

Maybe a little more fog over here next time, bub.

We actually were stricken with what we believe to be a mild case of Dengue Fever. This annoying little cousin of malaria travels in mosquitoes, and despite the efforts of the Dengue Dudes (see photo), one got through their defenses and shared its biohazardous bounty with us. Fever and aches for a couple days, nothing big. Thankfully it coincided with Lunar New Year and the cable company had opened up all the subscription movie channels, so we were adequately distracted (note: Inception: not that complicated…don’t know what all the fuss was about).

 

Second, for everyone who has had “One Night In Bangkok” stuck in their head since we put up that intermediate post, we are truly sorry. If it weren’t for the occasional respite provided by the Vegemite-sandwich-wielding Brussel-ian, we probably would have thrown ourselves out the window by now. Or at least attempted a sprint to the bus stop at rush hour with complete disregard for the crosswalk.

At any rate, as we’re leaving for Hong Kong tomorrow morning, we figured better get a Bangkok post up before we forget everything.

So, without further ado, here is the answer to mothers’ concerns about the level of debauchery in Bangkok:

Editor’s Note: this post has been sanitized so that all of you wasting company dollars reading this dreck and drivel on office time may proceed without fear of reprisal.

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Stay tuned for our Hong Kong update!

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. 9 February 2011 8:23 am

    This may be one of the most amusing and really clever posts you have ever done. I was chuckling all the way through it. You two are SO funny. I guess I can stop praying for your immortal souls now and just continue with the normal pleas for your safe return. What is this fever stuff? Will you continue to have bouts with it when you come home to the good ol’ USA…where the mosquitos only give you the itches and an occasional Black Nile Virus. Sheesh!! Everything dangerous and nasty comes from someplace else and ends up here!!

  2. conison permalink*
    9 February 2011 9:14 am

    we had dengue fever? that’s news to me. can you get a mild case of dengue? Thanks, MC, for now shifting the worry from debaucherous Thai weekends to death by mosquito. I’ll be over here, calming down my mother if you need me…

    -Al

    • debbie permalink
      9 February 2011 12:48 pm

      well, now you’ve done it, ollie!!! remember andy irons, 3 time world surfing champion who died at 32 last november? apparently he could conquer any wave but not complications from dengue fever. did you have the triad response of fever, rash, and headache? any severe pain behind the eyes, bleeding gums, red palms and soles, contortions due to the muscle pain (not alcohol consumption)? i guess the good side is that an attack of dengue produces a lifetime immunity for the specific virus your mosquito was carrying. that’s good. unfortunately, the mosquitos carry many different viruses. that’s not so good. oh…have a great time in hong kong. michele and i will be praying now for a quick recovery. xx

  3. conison permalink*
    15 February 2011 11:40 pm

    Attention Readers:
    After further investigation and consultation with medical unprofessionals, it seems that we did NOT have dengue fever.

    It was a hangover.

    Apologies for the false alarm, but in the land of death where everything can kill you, one can’t be too careful.

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